The Engagement Story - Day 2

Day 2

The sun rose with a welcoming warmth. We felt as though this day was going to be a wonderful change from what we had experienced the day before. I woke up and stretched my stiff body, opened up the tent and squinted in the glare of the late morning sun. We had slept in a little because we knew of the day we had ahead of us, and besides that we had no desire to wake up to an alarm clock in the middle of the wilderness. I made my way to the ranger box and took my book along with me for some morning reading and bathroom break. Upon returning I noticed Heather was still in the tent so I began starting a fire for breakfast. With the smoke steadily rising from the wood and ashes I had prepared I decided to go and wake Heather up so she wouldn’t sleep the morning away. Breakfast was the second of two gourmet meals of the trip. We created a wonderful breakfast skillet concoction with the rest of the food from last night and we were happy with the way the day had begun.

The breakfast was relaxed and Heather and I began to discuss the plans for the day. We decided to pack up and head to the other side of Ensign Lake where we would hopefully arrive early enough in the afternoon so we would not have the same congestion for campsites we did the night before. Cleaning up consisted of packing up all we had with us and leaving no trace of us being at this campsite. No trace is a relative term in the BWCA because of the wood that is collected and left by the cooking area and ashes from the burnt wood. And people can also see that we were once there by the deposits in the ranger box as well. =) But other than that, it is our goal to leave no trace of our presence when out in the wilderness. We loaded our canoe and shoved off the shore for our leisurely paddle to the other side of this huge lake.

Three hours later we had reached our destination. We had many options for campsites, but it looked as though we were going to still have a little competition from people that had set up camp for a long stay. We paddled around the large island in the center of the lake and began looking on the north shore of the lake. Passing a few small islands and taken sites we came upon a wonderfully secluded site that had no sense of being occupied. We decided to check it out and see if it would be suitable for a spot to spend the rest of the day and night.

My concern for the spot that we picked out for this day was traffic. Was there going to be a lot of people around or people passing on the way to their sites? I really wanted as much privacy for this evening, because this was going to be the night that I popped the big question.

We pulled up to the shore, secured the canoe and walked up to the campsite. The tent pad was off in the back and not in plain view. The cooking area was out on a bit of a point with lots of flat rock around it. It was backed by tall pine trees while the shore gently sloped down to the water. We also had a great place to jump off a rock into the water. It was perfect. So we gathered our stuff and took our time unloading and setting up camp, because well…we could. There was no rush this time because of darkness.

The afternoon was hot and we were due for a swim. The water was cool and refreshing and I could tell by the way Heather looked that our stress was finally gone from the day before and we were starting to work on getting rid of all the stress from the many months before without a vacation.

When we had become chilled from the cool water, we decided to lie out in the sun to warm up and dry off while enjoying lunch. Eventually, our laying on the warm rock turned into a nice afternoon nap. The day was going very well.

At this point I was busy thinking about how to secretly plan for the big question this evening at dinner. I though back to the cool water and realized it would be a good idea to chill the wine that I brought for the occasion in the lake. I got up and told Heather that I was going to take some pictures down the shore and she should continue to sleep. She did, and I grabbed my camera bag with the wine and headed down the shore. It wasn’t long before I found a great place for the wine. It was a rocky shore and I found a bunch of large rocks that created a basin to keep the Tera-paked wine. I pulled out the wine and placed it in the plastic bags I had with to keep it dry. The extra rocks around it provided a perfect cover for the wine just in case Heather came down the shore for a walk.

I headed back to the campsite and found Heather awake and in the shade ready to journal. I also pulled out my journal and joined her in the shade. Heather was diligently writing about our time in the BWCA so I figured it was safe to focus on something a little more important, the proposal.

I began writing a letter to Heather, because I knew with my nerves I would most likely stumble over my words and it wouldn’t come out like I had planned. I planned to read it to her when we were getting close to the end of dinner. But we had a bit of time before we would come to that.

We were done journaling and we still had time to burn so Heather got out a book she brought along called “Finding the Love of Your Life” by Neal Clark Warren. We took turns reading about the proper ways of going about finding the love of your life, and things to learn about and work through with your potential spouse before you took the big leap. And according to the book Heather and I were doing pretty well. I even remember Heather saying “This will be really good stuff to know especially when (she stumbled) we…get married.” Heather was obviously thinking that the possibility of engagement and marriage were still far off. Whereas I was thinking that this information is going to be looked at in a very different light in about 2 hours. =)

We got through a good number of chapters and finally decided to start dinner. As we had been reading, one thing I noticed was that some fishermen had set up shop about 50 yards in front of our campsite where there was a shallow spot in the lake, and seemed to be content to stay there for a while, fishing. Drat….the perfect, secluded campsite, spoiled by some avid fishermen! I tried not to let it bother me, and hoped that maybe they would go away, as we began to cook. This evening’s menu consisted of a pasta primavera with biscuits. The pasta had a light oil sauce and tons of vegetables. It was something that I had picked out for the trip just for this night, and I was excited to surprise Heather with the accompanying beverage.

We finished preparing the meal and we gave thanks for the food and a great day. But before we sat down to eat I said, “I have to go get something.” That something was the wine. She had no idea and had a very confused look on her face when I came back and told her what it was. “You have wine? In the Boundary Waters? How did you get wine into the Boundary Waters? And without me knowing??” I responded, “I do have wine, and you carried it in! In my camera bag.”

Her huge smile (and confusion) were priceless! I opened up the chilled wine and explained where I hid it and where I got it as I served it up along with the meal.

The wine was good but after my first sip, my head started to spin and I could feel the nerves kicking in. I had started the ball rolling and it was hard to eat and drink knowing what was coming. Heather, on the other hand, was loving the wine and food, but didn’t notice that I was hardly touching mine (a good thing, or she probably would have been suspicious).

I needed a break, a chance to collect my thoughts, not to mention get my camera bag and journal. Well, God must have been on my side because I believe at that very moment He put within my bowels the urge to poop. I quickly got up and headed to the ranger box with a book to collect my thoughts and think for a bit.

After a while and a good prayer, I came back with camera bag and journal in hand. Heather was reading a book and had finished her food….and much to my delight, the fishermen were just starting to leave, and give us our privacy back! Great timing. So I sat down and said that I had another surprise for her and handed her the journal. I told her there was a part where she needed to hand the book back to me so I could read some as well. She had a huge smile, and began to read it aloud…

So I’m going to sit here next to Heather and pretend I am journaling, I am but it has a purpose. I am writing a love letter to her and then will read it to her later. Here goes.

Dear Heather,

How’s it going? Good, you’re looking very hot tonight! You’re welcome.

This has been a pretty good trip wouldn’t you say? I think it has been. We have taken lots of trips together. Do you remember our first one? I believe it was a trip into Grand Rapids in a Youth Encounter van. Just you and I. We talked, I thought you were hot and we were planning on meeting up with teams and staff to go and see a movie. Well, no one showed up and that was our first date. It was a good one and I think I held your hand. Way to go me, breaking the touch barrier. We had a couple of other days off together, but none as special as that first one during training.

We have had lots of other trips together too. We have driven lots of times up to see your parents. I remember the first time I met your mom. She was very nice. I think it was to help make Christmas cookies. That was fun. It wasn’t until a little later that I would meet your dad. Turns out…he’s a nice guy and doesn’t constantly sit around polishing his guns and thinking of tough questions to ask me. Trips up north are always fun. Sitting by the fire, watching a movie, falling asleep next to each other. Show shoeing, 4 wheeler riding, playing with the dogs and then coming back to the cities with 30 pounds of food and two 24 packs of mountain dew. Those were good trips.

And then there were trips to meet my family. The Colorado, Wyoming, Montana driving extravaganza. That was a fun trip too. Granted we spent very little time at each stop, but it was super fun. We even climbed Pikes Peak! We have seen the camps we worked at, the places we grew up and are now going places we have never been before.

This trip is always exciting because we get to spend time together without the distractions of everyday life. All the while spending it doing something we love in the middle of Nowhere, God’s Creation.

Heather we have had an amazing time together and have grown to love each other. We have shared so much. We have learned so much. And the greatest thing, we love God so much that we want to put Him in the center of our relationship. (Give the book to Dain)

Heather, I love you. You are my dream girl. You love the outdoors, you ski, canoe, bike and love the woods. You want a log cabin. You are beautiful beyond all measure. You love Jesus. You are musical, care for others, are hard working, are an outstanding kisser, and you can somehow put up with me. I can’t think of anyone more perfect. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

At that point I reached into my camera bag and pulled put the ring box, got down on both knees and said, “Heather Nicole Carr, will you marry me?”

Her hands went to her face as she looked at the ring and said “Oh my gosh, YES!” Then her eyes changed focus, her brain caught up and she realized that I had completely surprised her, and she hit me on the arm and exclaimed “You Suck! I mean…you’re awesome.” And she began to cry.

I took the ring out and tried to put it on her shaking hand. The ring was a little too small but that didn’t matter; we forced it on and spent the next few moments kissing and cuddling (while she cried and kept saying she couldn’t believe I surprised her) as the sun set opposite our campsite.

The rest of the evening was spent explaining all the planning and conversations I had with relatives to make this happen. One crazy part was that I almost couldn’t reach her dad in time to ask his permission before the trip! I only had her mom’s cell phone number, and it turned out her mom was out of town for the rest of the week. So I had had to steal Heather’s phone earlier in the week when she wasn’t looking, so I could get her dad’s cell number out of it, and give him a call to ask his permission. I would have asked in person the last time we visited Two Harbors, but it would have looked suspicious to ask John to just go for a walk out of the blue….

So we talked about all the facets that led up to this day, and Heather continued to be in shock that this was really real, and had actually happened, as we finished off the wine and settled in for our first evening as an engaged couple.

The Engagement Story - Day 1

How many times in life do you get a chance to plan for big decisions? So many times decisions come up and it requires quick thinking and the use of resources that are barely accounted for. But there is one thing in life, if you do it right, that can be planned for and executed with extreme detail...I am talking about a marriage proposal. And not just any proposal, my proposal to my amazing girlfriend Heather. It went a little something like this:

Heather and I were planning our yearly trip somewhere and we debated between the Dells in Wisconsin or back up to the boundary waters in Northern Minnesota. And I have nothing against the Dells but when thinking about a place that I would like to ask someone to marry me, the wilderness seemed like the better of the two options.

So after I secured the ring, handmade all the way from Ireland, I began planting seeds in the mind of Heather so that the plan I had would be the one that occurred. We eventually decided on the Boundary Waters the weekend before the 4th of July. Previously, we had gone into this wilderness twice, into locations Heather knew about because of her experience with Camp Vermilion as a canoe guide. This time I was up for an adventure that involved both of us not knowing where we were going. Don’t worry, we had maps, but no prior knowledge of that section of the BWCA.

We took off Wednesday evening after work and almost made it to Camp Vermilion untouched. I did have to actively dodge a deer in my headlights. Luckily the Subaru stayed on the road and the canoe stayed on the Subaru. The adrenaline rush made it easy to stay awake for the last hour of the trip until we pulled into camp just before midnight.

The next morning was leisurely but early. We headed out to Ely and our entry point at Moose Lake. After arriving and realizing we had left a few necessities behind (like sunscreen and duct tape), Heather drove to a nearby outfitter and paid through the nose for not-very-much of both. But, that wasn’t going to stop me from my plan. All was going well….so far.

Heather’s absence allowed me time to make sure that I had adequately hidden the two keys to the proposal. The first being the ring, and second the wine! Prior to the trip my brother, Derek and I plotted a little bit about how I could make this trip extra special. Wine was one of them. But how would I get a ring in its very large box, let alone wine, into the BWCA without Heather knowing? Luckily, Derek had heard about a new wine packaging called TeraPak and thought that would be my best bet. Another fortunate turn of events was that the liquor store right next to Heather’s apartment sold wine in this packaging.

So, I needed to decide where Heather was least likely to look. Considering I had only three options to hide something in, and two of those would be completely unpacked every night, I decided to put the wine and ring in my camera bag. This was risky considering Heather would be carrying that bag every time we portaged, but I was determined to make sure she didn’t find out until I was on my knees.

Heather returned with the sunscreen and duct tape, we parked the Subaru and began loading the packs and canoe on our backs for our entry into the BWCA.

We actually started on a hiking trail that took us past Moose Lake and into Snowbank Lake. What we didn’t know was that the hiking trail and this portage was not well kept and was a lot longer than what it said on the map. On top of that as I watched Heather leave ahead of me I stepped over a log and my ankle rolled to the right. I was concerned but when I didn’t feel any pain I was relieved. Then I looked down at my Chaco sandal and saw that the back right heel support had broken. I was four steps into this trip and my sandal was broken – but I didn’t have any other option but to continue on.

I eventually caught up to Heather as she was bridging the canoe on a tree that had fallen across the path. I told her about the sandal and we looked at each other knowing that this trip was not going like we wanted it to.

We pushed on and eventually made it to water and a place we could eat lunch before we officially made it to Snowbank Lake and the crossing into the BWCA.

The area was beautiful but recovering from a fire not too long ago. Underbrush was green and thick while trees were barren and wore the gray color of something long dead. The sky was blue and so was the water. We could still hear motors on the backs of boats both ahead and behind us. Our goal was to be out of earshot of a motorized lake by dinner time so we could enjoy God’s creation without the interruption of human contraptions.

Heather and I dined on bagels, summer sausage, dried apples, provolone cheese, peanut butter, jelly, trail mix, and water. My favorite is to but it all together on the bagel, mmmm tasty.

After a relaxing lunch we continued on to Snowbank Lake where we encountered many people and resorts that bordered the BWCA. We felt insignificant in our canoe and did our best to avoid what looked like the major boating lanes. Snowbank Lake was rather large and open so our voyage across it was time-consuming, but we needed to get across it so we could find a camp site on the next lake, Disappointment Lake.

We portaged and were happy to leave the motors behind for the purity of quiet, muscle-powered paddling. Dinner was coming soon, considering we needed to find a campsite, find firewood, find a tree to hang the bear-pack, set up the tent and maybe go for a swim to cool off after a hot day of paddling. Our only hope was that Disappointment Lake didn’t live up to its name.

A side note about camping in the BWCA (as compared to hiking in the mountains) is that campsites are already picked out for you and have a few amenities provided like a fire grill and the “toilet” or ranger box. It is by no means luxurious, as the ranger box is a hole in the ground with something to sit on above it, and the grill is a small metal grate with rock around it, but nonetheless it is nice to have. These campsites are marked on the maps with red dots and the number of entry permits are controlled – so that there are enough campsites for everyone and to keep the peace of the wilderness intact. We had about eight campsites to choose from on Disappointment Lake so the odds of getting a site were good, but not the best.

Heather paddled in the front as I steered the canoe to the location of the different campsites. One nice thing about the sites is that they are all visible from the lake so you don’t have to be very close to see if there are people there. We began experiencing that feeling of, “that site is taken, I see a tent” immediately and it continued site after site after site. Disappointment Lake lived up to its name. Not one campsite was available and we were not the only ones looking. I have never seen so many people in the BWCA at one time.

We arrived at the other end of Disappointment Lake truly dejected, and wondering what our next move would be. Do we continue on until we find a campsite or do we look for some place that is off the trail that is not a campsite, where we can at least sleep for the night? After a little debate we decided that continuing on was the best option, even though it would take us through six more small lakes and a few medium-sized portages. Our bodies were tired, our minds were weary and our stomachs were hungry. So with a Clif Bar in us we paddled to the portage out of Disappointment Lake.

Upon our arrival we were greeted by an older man with a long grey beard who was decked out in all the appropriate fishing apparel. Sitting on a rock after putting the canoe that was on his shoulders into the water, he said good evening and tipped his hat. We, being full of angst at the fact that we were still on the water at this late hour, put on our best face and said hi back. Heather and I could hear others coming down the portage so we asked if there were more in his group. “Yes,” he said, “we have three other canoes, and there is a group of four boats behind us as well.” He must have seen through our attempted cheeriness and politely conjectured, “Looks like you two need an attitude adjustment.”

Now, knowing that we had just met this gentleman and realizing that he knew our frustration, I politely declined. Heather however, who is continually nice and hospitable to strangers, said “sure” to the offer of an “attitude adjustment.” So we paddled up close to the shore and waited as the man with the beard began patting down his pockets. I was fairly sure that the definition that Heather was expecting for the inevitable “attitude adjustment” differed greatly from what I believed was about to be offered to her. The man leaned out over the water towards Heather and extended his arm with a cigarette between his fingers. Heather saw that his generosity was not in the form of a joke or some Boundary Waters proverb, but a metal facsimile of a smoke….with some suspiciously green tobacco in it. “It’s metal,” she exclaimed, and my response was, “Heather, you don’t smoke.” The man continued to hand the cigarette to Heather and she grabbed it between thumb and forefinger like it was contaminated somehow. Heather politely played ignorant and in a confused manner explained that she in fact didn’t smoke, and handed the cylinder back to the man. Confused, the man took it back and stored it carefully in his pocket for later use. Meanwhile, I was already paddling backwards and into a shady area to keep the late-day sun off our backs.

We sat for about twenty minutes and watched the steady stream of people come down the portage, and informed the heads of the group that we were unsuccessful at finding a campsite on this lake. Haste took hold of the leaders as they quickly loaded and went to see for themselves. In return they told us that the campsites just on the other side of the portage were also taken, and the first options we would possibly find would be up on Ensign Lake. It was what we expected, but we were still hopeful that maybe those people were just leaving the two possible sites that were closest.

Our turn finally arrived to traverse the portage and begin the trek into the twilight of our first day in the BWCA. Heather hopped out and pulled me ashore as I began unloading the bags and equipment. The canoe was readied and as I bridged the watercraft for Heather, I prayed that we could find a site before dark. As Heather disappeared down the trail I loaded my packs on my back, food bag in front and then equipment pack next, and with trekking poles in hand I tiredly followed, hoping that there would be something to brighten the end of this day.

After a short portage (and a sigh of relief that we were away from people again) Heather and I began paddling again through Ashub, Jitterbug, Adventure, Cattyman and Gibson Lake. Each lake offered a time of quiet reflection as we were quite tired and more than anxious to get to a lake that at least had campsites on it. But as we reached the short portage between Gibson and Ashigan Lake, we heard the familiar rush of water that signified a waterfall. Restless to reach our dinner and sleep location, we were still willing to stop and head off the trail to see if this waterfall was worth taking a break for. We portaged the equipment across and then doubled back for a look at the path that led to the waterfall we could hear but not see. We did find a path, but it also doubled as a stream fed by ground water, so we stepped lightly as the mud and rocks were slippery.

As we rounded the corner we were in awe of the twenty foot waterfall before us. We quickly sat and enjoyed the beautiful oasis knowing that this was exactly what we needed to rejuvenate our spirits after a long, hard day. I pulled out my camera and began taking pictures of the two of us and playing around with the different exposure levels while capturing the natural green canopy and specks of blue sky behind the falls. In an instant Heather and I realized we no longer need to be frustrated with our situation. We were in the middle of the BWCA with the one we loved, while enjoying the natural beauty of God’s creation. When you really think about it, this was the real attitude adjustment we needed. We left knowing that whatever lay ahead of us, it was not going to be looked upon as a hindrance but a blessing.

Ashigan Lake was wide open as we paddled into the sun to our final portage for the night…hopefully. Another fifty rods and we would be on a lake with almost forty options for campsites. Earlier in the chain of lakes and somewhere on a portage I made the decision that no matter what happened this evening I was NOT going to propose to Heather this day. I made up my mind that tomorrow would be better, and that would be the day of the life changing question.

As we placed the canoe into the water on Ensign Lake (for what we hoped to be the last time this day), the clouds above us began turning a bright orange color, alerting us that our daylight was in short demand – and if we wanted to take advantage of it to find firewood and a tree to hang our bear pack, we best find a site soon. Ensign Lake started out like every other lake we had already been on this trip so far – with full campsites. The first site was taken, so we moved on to the next. It was difficult to make out in the low light if anyone was at the site up the shore, so we closed in to make sure it was open. With every paddle stroke we grew more and more excited that we hadn’t seen any trace of people in front of us. My eyes were drawn to the lake and its beauty around me. I constantly snapped pictures of the sunset and clouds around us. I then trained my lens on the water below me. One of the great mysteries of the Boundary Waters is the fog that appears on cool nights and mornings, giving the already beautiful lakes and forests an ethereal feeling. I was so consumed with the first view of this beauty that I hardly noticed we were upon the campsite and still no sign of people. “Should we check it out?” asked Heather. I was so happy just to see land not occupied with people that I didn’t care what it looked like (not that I could see it anyway, with the darkness) – I wanted it.

The site was very grassy and had few trees, but what I cared about was food and sleep, and I was willing to make anything work at this point. I set up the tent on a very long grassy section of the site that turned out to be wonderfully soft as we slept. The tough part was finding a place to put our food for the evening so we wouldn’t attract any animals. I began slashing my way through the grass in search of a tree with any type of limb able to hold our food pack. It took some doing but I eventually succeeded. Meanwhile, Heather was busy preparing dinner. Tonight we dined on steak marinated in BBQ sauce, fried potatoes and fresh green beans – what a meal! We did most of the cooking and all of the eating in the dark, and by the time we crawled into the tent, we were cold and wet from the dew that had gathered on the grass. It had been a tiring, frustrating day in the BWCA, and we dropped off to sleep almost immediately – a welcome rest from the day’s labors.

Getting started

Ok, so here we go - we created a page on The Knot, but we wanted another place to be able to give more information about the wedding, because that one doesn't allow much flexibility. If you want to check that out, here's the page - http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/HeatherCarr&DainSwanson.

Lots more info to come - starting with the LONG version of the engagement story, and a few pictures of the event, too. =) Enjoy!

Heather and Dain